Tom Cruise about his father: Esquire Magazine

Tom cruise July 2010 Cover PictureTom Cruise’s closeness to his mother Mary and his sisters is well-documented, but in a new interview with the June/July of Esquire Magazine, he opened up about his late father, Thomas Cruise Mapother III.

“I remember looking at my dad and wanting to understand him. I didn’t want to just write the guy off. He was lost. I can’t speak specifically in terms of why and how he got to where he was — that was his journey. All I can tell you is, he was overwhelmed by life… My mother basically did all the work, and then they got separated and I didn’t see him for a long time. He didn’t try to help the family financially or spiritually, and I lived with the effects of the chaos.”

Tom On His Dad “He was an electrical engineer moving between jobs, and we moved a lot. My mother basically did all the work, and then they got separated and I didn’t see him for a long time. He didn’t try to help the family financially or spiritually, and I lived with the effects of the chaos….. I found out he was dying, and I went to see him in the hospital,” Tom revealed to the mag. “He knew… that he’d blown it. There was deep regret. I think he was torturing himself. We tend to do that. All I could do was tell him, ‘Look, it’s okay.’ I wasn’t going to live in blame and regret.”

Tom Explains The Infamous Oprah Couch-Jumping Incident“Perception and reality are two different thing,” Tom said of the moment that he expressed his excitement at having fallen in love with his now wife, Katie Holmes. “Yeah, the point can be made that I wanted the audience to be happy just like I wanted to make my sisters and my mother happy when I did those skits as a kid. But I’ll take responsibility for my actions.”

On Being A Father: “I’ll never forget the moment I became a dad. But it’s hard to describe — that level of responsibility, the desire to give such joy. The clarity: Nothing is more important than this. I remember that first night, just staring at Bella. I was checking her every second, just looking at her, feeling that immediate bond. I was probably looking at her so much that I was keeping her up. I made a promise to her: All I can do is the best I can. But I’m not going to say I’m gonna do something and then not do it.”

On Getting His Big Break: “The audition [for Taps] was in New York. I said one line. That was it. I had long hair at the time, so they said, ‘Hold up your hair.’ Then ‘Thank you.’ I don’t know why, but… I thought I’d get it. It wasn’t arrogance. I had a quarter in my pocket — and that was it. I’m telling you: I didn’t have bus fare to get back to where my mom was living in Jersey. I remember… standing outside the Holland Tunnel, and hitchhiking. I walked up the driveway and saw my mother. It was a distance, but I remember her face. She looked at me and I looked at her, and I thought, I got it.”

On Wife Katie Holmes“…You know, I’m married to such a special woman. Every night before we go to sleep, Kate and I look at each other and it’s like, How’d we do today?”