Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai. Wife: Woh Kya? Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee mil gayi ab marne ke baad swarg milega!

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… The wives want both!

Question: What is the next thing one should do after winning an argument with the wife ? Answer: Apologies !!!

Man: Is there any way 4 long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of a long life will never come to you again!

Men who don’t understand women at all, by & large, fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

A man is the head of the family and the wife is the neck. The neck turns the head exactly the way it wants.

Wife to her friend: My hubby bought me a Mood ring the other day. When I’m in a good mood, it turns Green & when I m in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead!

Question: How do you express two words with exactly opposite meaning in sentence? Answer: HAPPILY MARRIED !!!